What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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