Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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