and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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