I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
They have beer where we have blood.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
