There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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