Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
