I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
