U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
a search helicopter?!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
