her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
