The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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