omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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