I wish I only lived at night.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
