It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize