he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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