Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
operation have a gay friend backfired
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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