Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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