if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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