Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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