then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize