I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
