come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
