This girl is more easily done than said...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So many bounce houses so little time
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
