There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize