In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
