I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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