we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
