I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
