Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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