Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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