i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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