Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you made out with another girl for some wings
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
