Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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