You can't special order awesome
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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