I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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