I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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