i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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