It's Friday. Sex?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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