Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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