Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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