I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
