if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
