in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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