As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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