did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
