Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
