Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
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