There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
