Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize