My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
