So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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