i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
