Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
