why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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