Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
