I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
