I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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