you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Girls should come with a carfax report
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
