So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
