you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
