I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize