I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
