I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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