Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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