i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
His hands were made for my vagina.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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